


TechnoNeering

by Liritar



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-03 18:24:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10972857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liritar/pseuds/Liritar
Summary: Sollux Captor is the chief techniculler of the Battleship Condescension. And he's far too busy to deal with the pile of bullshit that just got dropped in his lap.Equius Zahhak is the best enginnihilator in the fleet, and thought his transfer to the Battleship Condescension was going to be prestigious. Until he meets his supervisor.





	1. Chapter 1

“Hey, Tech, I brought you the new Engineer.”

Sollux didn’t look up from what he was doing. The pandead highbloods up above couldn’t follow instructions to save their lives, and the system wasn’t going to de-virus itself. “Just leave him,” he said absently, still lisping slightly despite the training he’d given himself. “I’m gonna be a minute here.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” the courier said apologetically. He could hear the cringe in the man’s voice, like he expected violence.

Huh. He’d never given that impression to the ship’s support staff, he hoped, but he didn’t have time to deal with hoofbeast manure. “Get out,” he said firmly.

“Yes, sir,” the troll squeaked behind him, then the door’s hydraulics indicated he finally left.

“Ahem,” said a new voice, a cold voice, behind him. “I don’t appreciate being kept waiting.”

“Don’t care,” Sollux said shortly, typing quickly on the computer before him. “Job comes first in this department. If you can’t take it, we’ll find a new engineer. You lot are a ceagar a dozen.”

There was a sharp inhale. “You’ll regret saying that.”

“Doubt it.” Sollux worked for a few more minutes before swivelling his chair around and looking up.

And up.

Holy fuck. The man was built like an industrial scuttlebuggy, and somehow looked bigger. Sollux was tall, especially for his caste, but this guy was probably a foot taller than he’d be when standing. And he was _looming_ without even trying. And where Sollux was almost unhealthily skinny, the new Engineer was made of muscle.

And then two sets of eyes obscured by protective eyewear--his, his preferred blue and red, the other, darkened glass--fell on the signs stitched on the left shoulder of each uniform.

The Engineer’s face fell into an expression of shock, but before he could speak, Sollux climbed to his feet and crossed his arms. “Aren’t you a bit blue to be an engineer? What did you do, piss someone off?” He sneered slightly. The last thing he needed was a highblood asshole thinking he was above working most of the time. What were they thinking, assigning him this useless lump?

The man raised his nose, sniffing disdainfully. “They told me the Battleship Condescension needed the best engineer it could get, but I didn’t realize the situation was so grave. I’m sure mismanagement is half of the problem.”

Oh, no. He did _not_ say that. Sollux growled deep in his chest. He strode up to the troll, showing no fear. “The Empress herself put me in charge of this department,” he hissed. “And, I’m guessing, sent you here as well.” He could sense his moirail’s hand in this outrage. No one else would dare pissing him off this much, under fear of _her._ What the fuck was she thinking? This prick couldn’t be worth the hassle. “So either shut up and do as I say, or go tell her why I need yet another gogdamned engineer reassigned.”

“You will not use such language to me,” the Engineer snarled.

He laughed coldly, staring up at him. “Stop me.”

Several emotions crossed his face, settling on the realization that he was, indeed, a superior officer and striking him would have severe consequences. Sollux smirked as the troll seethed silently down at him.

“Grab your bag,” he said, gesturing. “And listen up. I’m only going to tell you once. I’m the Techniic. You can call me Tech if I like you, so if you try it, I’ll rip your unbroken horn off and shove it up your fucking nook.”

The troll made a choked sound, full of shock and disgust.

“Good, you understand me. This way.” He left the room and made his way towards their quarters. A whole hall of blocks near the helmsblock had been cleared out for techs and engineers when FF had switched from psionic power to mechanical in the Empire’s ships. Of course, they were small blocks. Nothing like this asshole was probably used to. He chose an empty one at random. “You’ll sleep here.” He tapped quickly at the access panel, and the screen on the door went from blank to displaying the Engineer’s sign. “You can set the code for privacy, and you shouldn’t be bothered.”

He tapped at the panel again, and the door slid open. There was just space for a recuperacoon and a desk. “Enjoy. Your shift starts in two hours, the meal block is up two levels. I’d recommend eating before you start, we don’t get much time for breaks.”

“This is a storage block,” he said, his voice full of shock.

“Pretty much. Welcome to Her Imperious Condescension’s Technical Corps,” he said, turning and leaving the man to his own devices.

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling )(er Imperious Condescension

TA: what the fuck, ff?

)(IC: I don’t know water you’re talking about.

)(IC: )(ee )(ee.

TA: youve 2ent me what2 got two be the mo2t u2le22 engiineer yet, FUCK. how can you thiink a hiighblooded a22hole could help me? ugh, that cliinche2 iit. you know how people thiink ii got thii2 job becau2e iim your moiiraill? ii fiigured iit out. ii got thii2 job becau2e you 2ecretly hate me and want two punii2h me.

)(IC: Sollux, stop being silly. I sent you the -Engineer because )(e’s the best, and you need )(im.

TA: what, hii2 tiitle2 actually the engiineer?

)(IC: Didn’t you ask?

TA: diidnt care.

)(IC: Well, it is. )(e’s the only guppy I know w)(o’s almost as focused on )(is job as you are. )(e’s not quite t)(ere, because t)(ere’s rumors t)(at )(-E spends time wit)( )(is morayeel, unlike SOM-E grouc)(y mot)(erglubbers.

TA: iim BU2Y. fuck. giive me a better job and iill 2iit at your feet feediing you grub2nack2.

)(IC: You love your job, Sollux.

TA: of cour2e ii do, ff. fiine, iill put thii2 douchebag two the te2t, but iif he2 not a2 good a2 you 2ay, he2 out. GOT IIT?

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling )(er Imperious Condescension

)(IC: Rude. <>

)(er Imperious Condescension ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

 

)(er Imperious Condescension began trolling arscenicCatnip [AC]

)(IC: Oh my cod, it’s already working!

AC: :33 < *ac claps her hands*

AC: :33 < thats purrfect! what happened?

)(IC: Your morayeel )(asn’t been on the s)(ip more than twenty minutes and already Sollux is complaining that )(e’s t)(ere.

AC: :33 < *ac squeals with gl33* equihiss hasnt trolled me yet but hes probably still unpacking

AC: :33 < ill tell you what he says!

)(IC: You’d better! Or -E-ELS-E!

AC: :33 < *ac giggles and pounces on the eels then runs away*

arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling )(er Imperious Condescension

 

Equius carefully stowed his gear in the belongingsbox by the recuperacoon. Then he dropped into the chair by the desk, slightly too small to be comfortable for his large frame. But that was better than standing there, horn scraping the ceiling.

Enginnihilators and technicullers were usually of lower castes, small enough for rooms like this to be adequate.

He sighed softly. He’d thought being transferred to the Battleship Condescension had been a reward for his faithful service and recognition of his remarkable skills. But now it was more than obvious that he was being punished for some unknown slight he’d given the Empress. He’d obviously done something unforgivable. That was the only explanation.

He decided that, while that annoying, arrogant mustardblood was correct, as galling as it was, he wasn’t up to testing the main mealblock yet. He had a few protein bars in his bag, and after his shift he could see if his dietary requirements had been taken care of. One would think the Empress’s own ship would be able to handle one vegetarian engineer.

Quite a few he’d been posted on hadn’t cared, and he’d had to make do.

It might be worth it to deal with the mustardblood for reliable meals. He’d spent an unacceptable time hungry for one of his blood. Or anyone with the steady employment he enjoyed.

This was awful. He shouldn’t have to sacrifice his dignity like this.

Oh, it wasn’t like he had a choice. He couldn’t refuse the posting; the Empress had personally requested him. He was stuck there.

He looked around the room in bleak despair. He’d… just have to manage.

It couldn’t be _that_ bad.

Could it?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux sees the Engineer at work.

Sollux was hard at work when the Engineer entered the helmsblock, integrating the computer systems with the engines. The retrofit of the ship had been going on for quite some time, and sometimes he despaired that they’d ever make the damn things work. But then, machinery wasn’t his thing, just code. And a bit of computer hardware. The actual engines were a mystery to him, which was why he relied on enginnihilators so heavily. And why he went through them so quickly; none had so far suited his needs.

He didn’t speak, just nodded towards the machines filling the block. If he didn’t know what to do, he wasn’t worth Sollux’s time.

The man took one look at the gleaming new machines and his stoic expression slipped into a brief smile. Wow, that was disconcerting. Sollux was glad when the broken-toothed grin was hidden again. No wonder he didn’t smile more.

The Engineer strode towards the engines, barking orders at lesser enginnihilators and technicullers, who scurried to obey. Sollux didn’t step in, because he was actually getting stuff done. And they’d brought him in to be above the others. None of them were leadership material.

He seemed to know what he was doing, so Sollux felt easy in ignoring him and doing his own damn job for once.

He didn’t think about him again until the late hours of the night, morning approaching fast. He’d pulled his normal double shift, and was about ready to crash, despite the urge to work until he’d finished. Like usual, the rest of the workers had slipped out when the shift was officially over. Except… the normally silent helmsblock still rang with a muted clangor.

He ducked around an engine to find the Engineer on his back beneath it, his bulk somehow squeezed into the tight space, doing who knew what to the machinery. Sollux kicked his shin lightly. “You know your shift ended an hour ago, right?”

There was a moment of silence, then the man slid out into the open. “I’m not finished,” he said simply, looking up at Sollux with a blank expression.

He couldn’t help grinning at that. He could appreciate that sentiment more than most. “Yeah, but it’ll be here tomorrow. I’m gonna hit the mealblock, you should come.” He wasn’t sure what he was doing, but he figured that hulking brute needed almost as much food as he did to fuel his psionics.

“Yes, sir,” the Engineer said, face twitching slightly. Sollux didn’t care enough to analyze what was going on there. He just gestured him to follow and made his way towards the elevators to the upper levels.

Once they reached the mealblock, he made a beeline for the counter and got himself a huge plate of grubloaf. He had standing orders from FF to have double portions of everything. Even then, he was usually hungry all the time. Psionic energy took a lot out of a guy. Especially when he was as powerful as one Sollux Captor.

He glanced back to see the Engineer standing stiffly. “Come on, get some food. It’s not going to bite.” He snorted softly.

The Engineer stepped up to the counter and flashed what could only be called an anxious smile at the lowblooded food servicerator. “Enginnihilator Zahhak. There should have been a note about my dietary requirements?”

Sollux stared at him in incredulous disdain. “What, our food not good enough for you, blueblood?”

The man’s lips tightened. “I mean no disrespect,” he said shortly. He took the tray the rustblood handed him without another word. Sollux took a moment to peer at it, surprised to see a bowl of some kind of uncooked greenery, along with some kind of grain loaf. Why would anyone eat that stuff when there was grubloaf available? He shook his head. Bluebloods. Who the fuck would ever understand them?

He stomped to a table, ignoring everyone around him, like he usually did. There were some advantages to being well known as a pissy asshole; people didn’t talk to him. Which was just how he liked it.

He could sense the Engineer trailing after him like a lost barkbeast. Heh. He couldn’t really mind that. The asshole was just as out of place here as he was. People were cringing from him instinctively.

Huh. He’d never thought about it, but that must suck. At least people were scared of _him_ for things he actually did. This jerk hadn’t been here long enough to get hair clogged in the ablution trap, much less terrify half the crew.

Though with long hair like that, it was just a matter of time, he thought with a smirk.

He set his tray down and collapsed into a chair, long bony limbs folding up abruptly. “So, what’s with the,” he waved his hand vaguely at the bowl of greenery.

“I’m a vegetarian,” the larger troll said shortly. At his blank look, he sighed and elaborated. “I do not eat meat.”

Sollux’s eyes widened in horror. “That’s a thing?”

The troll snorted softly. “Yes.”

“But, but…” Sollux floundered for words. “How do you make all that,” he waved a hand at the Engineer’s bulk, “without meat?”

“There are many kinds of plant matter that contain protein. And I drink a lot of milk. Though my dietary habits are really none of your business,” he added, raising his nose slightly.

“I’m your supervisor, anything I want is my fucking business,” he pointed out with a smug grin.

The Engineer’s jaw tightened, a strange noise, a kind of “hrrrrrnk,” coming out of his nose. Sollux’s grin widened. Man, this guy was just too easy. It was almost cute.

He pushed that thought away quickly with a feeling of disgust. No. Bluebloods weren’t cute. Ever. Biological impossibility. There were too many sticks up their wastechutes for anything like that to ever ever ever happen.

Meanwhile, the Engineer had gotten his voice to work. “Yes, sir,” he managed, though it was kind of choked.

Sollux had to admit, he kind of liked having this guy calling him ‘sir’ like that. He wasn’t big on formality and didn’t hold the rest of his crew to military regs, but he had the feeling that even if he told the man to lay off, he wouldn’t. That stick up the chute problem. Seriously, bluebloods had a permanent air of needing a good pailing. Probably because they were such hardasses that they drove away anyone who would consider doing it for them. He snorted to himself.

Not that he cared about whether this guy got pailed. As long as he did his job, he could do what he wanted on his free time.

He finished his food quickly, like usual, inhaling the meal like he was starving. He picked up his tray without a word and left, leaving the highblood to his own devices. He should have no problems finding his own way back to his block. And if he did, he wasn’t worth the effort of caring.

 

centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]

CT: D --> I’m sorry I didn’t message you sooner  


CT: D --> I had a shift not long after my arrival and wanted to direct my full attention to learning my new duties  


AC: :33 < *ac pounces her errant meowrail and nuzzles him mightily*  


AC: :33 < I missed mew!  


CT: D --> I missed you too dearest Even this f001ishness you still insist on  


AC: :33 < you are just against fun!  


AC: :33 < anyway, are mew settling in? did you meet anyone yet?  


CT: D --> I am here to work not make friends Nepeta  


CT: D --> Though my supervisor did nearly order me to eat with him when our shift was over  


CT: D --> Since we both worked long past the actual end of the workshift  


AC: :33 < *ac perks up*  


AC: :33 < is he cute?  


CT: D --> He is a foulmouthed lowblooded streak of arrogance and I won’t hear any talk of his appearance again  


AC: :33 < hee hee!  


AC: :33 < get some sleep.  


AC: :33 < <>  


CT: D --> And you my diamond  


CT: D --> <>

centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]


End file.
